I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
