Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
