we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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