Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
