3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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