Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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