I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
