ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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