would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
