Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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