You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
