I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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