Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
