nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
