I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
