U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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