i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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