Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
