i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
