I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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