Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
