No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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