ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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