I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
