i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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