All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
