Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
