The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
