So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
