you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
