Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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