And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
