Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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