wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
