just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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