Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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