Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
