I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
