dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
