I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
