i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's official drugs can't kill me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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