Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
