By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
