Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
