is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
