literally had 100 drinks last night.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I believe in your delicious
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
