Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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