I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
