I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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