you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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