roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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