He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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