I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
