would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
