You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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