why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
